BRAIN INJURY 101: The Volcanic Argument
“Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our GOD, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31
Have you ever been pushed against a wall, figuratively speaking, in a heated discussion with a love one when you just explode? It’s Mount St. Helens all over again. You know the kind, no seismic activity showing there may be an eruption. Then BAM!! Words are spoken, feelings hurt, more words and then the explosion.
I’m the volcano
Oh, yes, I’ve been there. I’m the volcano. About 18-24 months after my spinal cord and mild traumatic brain injury, I began to experience rumblings in my soul. Deep anger, almost wrath; swelling to the point of explosion. Then it would happen. One word could set me off, or a tone of voice. Much of the time, the word or the tone would be over the telephone. We would have heated words and once I hung up the phone, the explosion and lava came.
Verbal rants into the air toward the one who I was supposed to love; who by the way had suffered mild brain injuries as well.
Then there were the explosions face to face. Afterward, the fallout was awful. I would retreat to a closet, literally, close the door, sit in the dark, cry and pray.
Have you ever been there?
What about you, dear friend? Have you ever felt that way toward your loved one with a brain injury? Perhaps you are to the point you feel you just can’t go on loving them. What do you do? What do WE do?
The Greatest Commandment
In Mark 12:29-31, Jesus is telling us the greatest commandment. Love God and love your neighbor. In the story of the Good Samaritan, Jesus answered the question of “who is my neighbor” by telling us our neighbor is the one we dislike the most. You’re asking, “how does this relate to my volcanic temper and eruptions?” At the time Jesus walked the earth, the Samaritans were hated for who they were, and, in His story, He basically told His listeners to love the people you hate.
The person who received the molten lave of my eruption IS my neighbor. During those explosive rants, I did hate. I’m not proud that my emotions got the best of me. The answer for me is to submerse myself into the Word; seeking out the Scripture verses that help me the most. And to BREATHE! Taking deep breaths do help, when I remember to do it.
Not my enemy
I also have to remember that my loved one is NOT my enemy, even though at the time of the heated argument, it sure feels like it. Time alone, reflection, repenting of my sin of wrath (Galatians 5:20), tears and prayer help me to realize that in submitting to Jesus and loving Him, I must also love the one whom I feel has hurt my feelings the most.
The daily process
Sanctification is hard. It is a daily process, and in the process, I find I can control the volcanic eruptions when I breathe in Jesus, exhale anger; breath in the Holy Spirit, exhale pride. Remember the Word and just love. It’s a simple answer, but not easy. We must forget that it’s not about us, or our loved one, but about Jesus; keeping our focus on Jesus.
